Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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