the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
