How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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