True but thats because hes a fetus.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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