Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There r osticjed everywhere
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
