well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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