dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize