Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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