I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
