i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
