I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
