you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Say something about gay babies.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
