there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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