you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize