well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
