Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
