just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
