apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
