i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
