Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
