He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
