they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
