doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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