Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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