so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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