im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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