now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Randomize
