What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize