You work out of a Hotel?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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