Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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