i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
