Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
