I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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