I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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