You're my little dorito
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
