Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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