just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
