do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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