Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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