I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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