from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Terrible idea I love it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
