hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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