so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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