I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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