This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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