I wish I could teleport
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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