I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
