Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
