You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
