I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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