Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
