somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
