Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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