I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
