Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
