They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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