So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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