I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
