Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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