Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
