Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
