hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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