just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
