You can't special order awesome
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
