Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
