I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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