Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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