If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
