Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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