Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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