Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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