careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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