A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
